Is it just me or this is really weird?

Am citit un articol mic mic mic in Compact. Era pe coloana subtire din dreapta de tot si avea 5 randuri.
Zicea ca in judetul Mehedinti corcodusii au facut pastai de fasole. La propriu. Si mai ziceau ca se pare ca e o mutatie genetica de la nu stiu ce cenusa a unei fabrici din zona parca. La mai mare. Dar sa nu fie prea mari pastaile, ca o sa se rupa crengile. Ati mai citit voi asta undeva?

iar

of, e asa liniste si ciudat acum de cand ai plecat. of..
si au trecut doar 12 ore.. :D

and this evening I wrote you a mail I'm never going to send..

the real thing - a poem

yes, I know that you think
I am wrong
but
I know what is right for me
and what
is not.
may I tell you my
dream?

I am surrounded by
thick cement walls,
I am dressed in a red
robe
and I am sitting at an
organ.
there is not a
sound.
I begin to play the
organ.
the hiss of the notes
is sharp and soft
at the same time.

it is a slightly bitter
music
but among the dark notes
there are flashes of light and
laughter.

as I play,
the incomprehensible mystery
of the past
and of the present
becomes
comprehensible.

and best of all,
as I play,
nobody hears the music
but me.

the music is only
for me.

that is my
dream.

The Real Thing - C. Bukowski

Pentru o viata sanatoasa... :)

Pentru adultii contemporani, pseudo-intelecto-neuro-ipohondri... adica noi... Se spune ca zilnic trebuie sa mancam un mar pentru fier si o banana pentru potasiu. De asemenea o portocala pentru vitamina C, o jumatate pepene galben pentru a imbunatati digestia si o cana de ceai verde, fara zahar, pentru a preveni diabetul. In fiecare zi trebuie sa bei doi litri de apa si apoi sa astepti timp dublu decat timpul pe care ti l-a luat ca sa le bei. Zilnic trebuie sa mananci Activia sau iaurt, pentru a avea "L.Cassei Defensis", care nu stie nimeni ce este, dar se pare ca, daca nu bei un iaurt si jumatate in fiecare zi, incepi sa vezi lumea cam tulbure. In fiecare zi o aspirina, pentru a preveni infarctul, si un pahar de vin rosu, pentru acelasi lucru. Si altul de vin alb, pentru sistemul nervos. Si unul de bere, pe care deja nu-mi mai amintesc pentru ce era. Daca le bei pe toate impreuna, chiar si daca faci o congestie, nu te mai preocupa si probabil nici nu te mai intereseaza. In fiecare zi trebuie sa mananci fibre. Multe, foarte multe fibre. Trebuie sa mananci intre 4-6 feluri zilnic, usoare, fara sa uiti sa mesteci de 100 de ori fiecare inghititura. Facand un mic calcul, doar pentru a manca, iti ia cam 5 ore. Ah, dupa fiecare mancare trebuie sa te speli pe dinti, adica: dupa Activia si fibre, dintii, dupa banana, dintii, dupa mar, dintii... si asa, daca ai dinti, fara sa uiti sa folosesti firul dentar, masajul gingiilor, o sorbitura de Plax. Mai bine umple cada si pune muzica, pentruca intre apa, fibra si dinti, iti vei petrece cateva ore aici, inauntru. Daca dormi 8 ore si lucrezi alte 8, plus cele 5 pe care le folosim pentru mancare, fac 21. Iti raman 3, in care intotdeauna se poate intampla ceva imprevizibil. Dupa statistici, vedem 3 ore zilnic televizor. Ei bine, deja nu se poate, pentru ca in fiecare zi trebuie sa mergi cel putin o jumatate de ora adica sa te intorci dupa 15 minute, ca altfel dupa o jumatate de ora se face o ora de mers. Si trebuie sa-ti pastrezi prieteniile, pentru ca sunt ca plantele: trebuie udate zilnic. Si cand pleci in vacanta de asemeni. Pe langa asta trebuie sa fii bine informat, asa ca trebuie sa citesti cel putin doua ziare si anumite articole de revista, pentru a compara informatia. Ah!, trebuie sa faci sex zilnic, dar fara sa ajungi sa fie ca o rutina: trebuie sa fii inventator, creator, sa renovezi seductia. Asta ia timp; si nici nu mai vorbim daca este sex tantric!!! (cu respect iti amintesc: dupa fiecare mancare , trebuie sa-ti perii dintii). De asemenea trebuie sa-ti faci timp pentru curatenie, pentru spalat rufe, vase, si nu mai zic daca ai caine, sau alt animal... copiii… In fine, dupa socoteala mea, imi ies cam 29 de ore zilnic. Singura posibilitate care-mi trece prin minte este sa faci mai multe lucruri deodata, de exemplu: iti faci dus cu apa rece si cu gura deschisa, asa bei cei 2 litri de apa. In timp ce iesi din baie cu periuta de dinti in gura, te duci sa faci amor (tantric) in picioare, cu perechea ta, care in treacat se uita la TV si comenteaza, in timp ce tu maturi. Ti-a ramas o mana libera? Cheama-ti prietenii si parintii!!! Bea vinul (dupa ce iti chemi parintii va fi nevoie). Iaurtul cu mar ti-l poate da perechea ta, in timp ce isi mananca banana cu Activia si maine schimbati. Cel putin ca deja am crescut, nu mai trebuie sa luam obligatoriul Danonino Extra Calcio in fiecare zi. Uuuf!!! Dar daca iti raman 2 minute, retrimite asta prietenilor (pe care trebuie sa-i uzi ca pe plante), in timp ce iei o lingurita de All Bran, care face foarte bine). Si acuma te las pentru ca intre iaurt, jumatatea de pepene, berea, primul litru de apa si a treia mancare de fibra din zi, deja nu stiu ce sa mai fac, dar am nevoie la closet urgent. Ah, o sa profit si imi voi lua periuta de dinti...

[nu stim autorul]

Personal DNA Test

about you

You are an Idealist

As an IDEALIST, you are distinctive for your integration of confidence, imagination, willingness to explore, and desire for competence over style.

You have a strong capacity to comprehend the inner workings of things, finding new ideas and innovative insights to feed your curious nature.

You are quite comfortable in the realm of abstract thought. You don't need a practical solution to every one of life's questions.

You are comfortable with the decisions you make in life. You don't need to second-guess yourself, or seek a lot of opinions before you make up your mind.

You enjoy the routines that you have created in your life, and don't feel the need to shake things up just for the sake of change.

You generally succeed at what you do, and others would describe you as successful.

It is important to you that products be efficient – looking good has to come second to working well.

You aren't the kind of person who needs to collect stylish items in an attempt to create an attractive environment – you know that what matters most is function, not style.

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different:

You take time to explore your own thoughts and ideas, but this experience would only be heightened if you opened yourself up even more to others' ideas.

Your faith in yourself and your lifestyle is well-founded, but the occasional foray into the unknown might broaden your perspective and help you see things differently.

how you relate to others

You are Advocating

Being social, empathic, and understanding makes you ADVOCATING.

Some people find being around others exhausting—but not you! You are energized by spending time with friends, and you are good at meeting new people.

One of the reasons you enjoy conversation as much as you do is that you often learn about yourself while talking things out with a friend; you realize things about your own beliefs while discussing them with others.

You have insight into what others are thinking and feeling. This ability allows you to be happy for others, and to commiserate when something has gone wrong for them.

You are highly compassionate, and being conscious of how things affect those close to you leaves you cautious about trusting others too hastily.

Despite these reservations, you are open-minded when it comes to your worldview; you don't look to impose your ways on others.

Your sensitivity towards others' plights contributes to an understanding—both intellectual and emotional—of many different perspectives.

As someone who understands the complexities of the world around you, you are reluctant to pass judgments.

If you want to be different:

While it's important to think about others, don't forget to take some time for yourself, and occassionally to put yourself first.

Take some time to spend with a few close friends; although it's difficult to find people to trust, it's worth the effort.

When you have great ideas, it can be hard to relinquish control, but it can also feel good to take the pressure off and enjoy someone else leading the way.

job cool :)

Junior Vrajitor : Senior Tech

Descrierea firmei:

Cazanul Vesel este o companie de recrutare specializata pe domeniul stiintelor oculte. Recrutam pe pozitii cum ar fi: Junior Vrajitor, Tehnician Papusi Voodoo, Operator Ghilotina, Agent Paza (stabilit la Poarta Raiului) sau Recruiter (Iad Area).
Calitatea oferita vine din experienta noastra in acest domeniu specific si din abilitatea noastra de a conjura entitatea perfecta pentru pozitia potrivita.
Avem "Full Membership Status" in cadrul Arhivelor Akasice, acest lucru oferindu-ne accesul catre CVul absolut oricarei fiinte si nefiinte din toate Universurile. Daca aveti nevoie ca treaba sa fie facuta bine, cu NOI ar trebui sa lucrati...or else!!!

Descrierea postului:

- asigurarea stocului de consumabile (ochi de triton, praf de unghii de broasca, aripi de liliac etc.),
- pregatirea focului de fiecare Luna Plina,
- oferirea de suport tehnic Vrajitorilor Seniori la cererea acestora,

Cerinte:

-har peste nivel mediu (Certificat de Har Peste Nivel Mediu - CHPNM reprezinta un plus);
-experienta in domeniu de cel putin 5 vieti anterioare,
-cunostinte de divinatie (preferabil chiro si oniromantie),
-abilitati de channeling, conjurare si vindecare obligatorii,
-cunoasterea Ritualului Roman este un plus,
-dovada de seriozitate in relatia cu Universul interior si exterior!

Oferta (bonusuri, beneficii):

Pachetul salarial este unul competitiv, cu multe bonusuri (farmece de vindecare gratuite, bonuri de masa zilnice, prime de Halloween, Sambata Mortilor etc.) si distractie de 1 Aprilie.
Exista de asemenea posibilitate de avansare foarte buna - este planificat ca in decurs de o viata, persoana care va ocupa acest post sa devina Senior Vrajitor cu pozibilitatea de specializare pe unul din domeniile urmatoare: Necromantie, Divinatie sau Vindecare.

"Such Great Heights" - Iron and Wine

I
Am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I
have to speculate
that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay

And true,
It may seem like a stretch,
but it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away when I am missing you to death

When
You are out there on the road
For several weeks of shows and when you scan the radio, I hope this song will guide you home.

They will see us waving from such great heights,
'Come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'Come down now,' but we'll stay...

I
Tried my best to leave
This all on your machine but the persistent beat it sounded thin upon listening

And that
frankly will not fly.
You will hear the shrillest highs and lowest lows with the windows down when this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights,
'Come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'Come down now,' but we'll stay...

choices

Draga jurnalule,

Sunt pe muchea unei decizii importante, ca sa zic asa. Tre sa ma hotarasc ce fac in urmatorii 3 ani, si nu e deloc usor. Au fost 3 ani, si tre sa ma hotarasc daca m-as mai putea responsabiliza pentru inca 3. Tot ce stiu acum e ca snt foarte obo, si ca uneori trag prea mult de mine. Am inceput sa cred si ca lucrez prea departe de casa, si prea multe ore. Pe de alta parte, daca imi fac ordine in viata si daca iau o pauza de vreo 2 luni, parca as putea.. Nu stiu, cel mai mult ma sperie neimplicarea altora. Dar parca vad ca o sa fac acelasi lucru, si daca mai candidez si daca nu.. Si oricum, as someone said, as putea sa ma retrag daca nu mai pot.. A fost multa lume care mi-a zis zilele astea ca trebuie sa candidez iar. Si am inceput sa ma gandesc.. Hmm.. Altfel, eram atat de hotarata sa ma retrag.. E bine ca m-am convins si ca nu dau 2 bani pe functie. Doar ca trebuie sa continuam sa ne dezvoltam, mai snt atatea de facut.. Acum nu stiu ce sa mai zic, deci, cert e ca mai sunt 48 de ore, tre sa ma decid. Si parca as putea. Of..

the burnout curve

De seara..

Draga jurnalule,
Am scris un rand, si am sters. Te-am uitat o vreme, si nu stiu daca ma mai intorc acum. Asa se intampla.
E luni, apoi e joi, apoi e duminica. Duminica cealalta. Apoi e iar marti si sambata, si vine luna urmatoare. E deja martie, si nu stiu de cand. De ceva timp, se pare. Se povesteste cum ca e ceva cu campul magnetic al Pamantului, si ca ziua nu mai are 24 de ore, ci 16. Practic. Mi-ar placea sa mai pot scrie, sa merg prin parc seara dupa serviciu, sa ma plimb prin oras, sa fac poze.. Si chiar vreau sa mai scriu, candva. In ultimele luni nu am scris aproape deloc, si snt atatea.
In weekend merg la tara. Desigur, vineri seara plec. Duminica seara cred ca trebuie sa fiu in Bucuresti pt ca e ziua lui Alex.
Oricum, mai am putin de lucru si merg sa dorm.
Noapte buna, cher journal...

there were so many people in my house the last 2 evenings. i am back home from budapest, i have things to do and i'm doing a pretty good job. this evening i had to "mediate" a therapy session between my cousin and his mother. they both cried and i almost cried too. actually their life is hard. different. they are handling it. a good friend of mine, that's taking care of my teeth too :) says that we don't even know how much we, humans, can endure. i guess we don't, and i guess we're far stronger than we think we are. how did i come to write this? :)
i think i had a great year last year. this year will be the year of choices. job and voluntary work and other projects and personal life and myself.. and as jean michel used to say "tout choix est un renoncement" - "every choice is also an abandon".
i had a great year last year. there are many beautiful moments to remember. there's all the things that happened, the new job, the places, friends, and..
and this year, the beginning of it.. there were things that made me so sad. and this feeling i have.. this year, some of the battles will be lost, i should know better already. i'll handle it, just don't tell me how beautiful life is. some of the battles, i won't fight them anymore. they're lost anyway. look around you. look.. wake up.. look.. stop taking things for granted.. if you don't see it, it's only because you don't wanna see it..
good night, patratel.
spring is here. and then there will be summer, and autumn.. and you'll survive.

so i am now in budapest working on a some management issue that needs all my attention and thinking of a thousand different tasks, activities, tasks to be done, people, job, and you.. and i feel i need some time for myself but on the other hand if i'd have it i'd be totally panicked.. what to do with all that time, and why should i waste it only for myself. and then again this is not ok either, is it like running away? or some people are just like this?
sometimes i think of life and all these questions come to mind. yes life might be beautiful but what's its purpose?
sometimes i think i should go somewhere alone, and see how i handle myself. sometimes i wonder how would come after me, but this thought is more and more rare, probably it comes with age.
i didn't write in quite a while so now i am letting it flow, even if it might not make sense.
and there are times i am sad. it's mostly related to people. and i repeat to myself again that i want to learn to love unconditionally. though i don't think some could love me till the end of time, unconditionally or not. sometimes i take the chance and not judge people, and when i do judge is because suddenly what i saw good in them is not there anymore or seems to have totally different reasons. and i don't expect anything, but when somehow all of a sudden i have expectations, maybe because i'm sad, they seem high enough.
i am ok, i guess. i'm trying to make it last, with people that are now around me. sometimes i feel like meeting new people, but i am just fed up from work. i became cold, maybe. or maybe life makes us that way. or maybe we just don't express it anymore, or... i'll probably complete this later. i gotta go now.
nevertheless, we die alone.

Dupa exemplul Kosovo...

[o stire care circula pe net, nu-i stiu autorul...:))]

Judetul Dolj si-a declarat independenta

Autoritatile de la Craiova au transmis astazi la ora 8:00 Parlamentului declaratia prin care oltenii isi declara unilateral independenta

Printr-o miscare total neasteptata, oltenii separatisti din Dolj, inspirati de precedentul kosovar, si-au declarat independenta, cu sprijinul tacit al Chinei, Burkinei Fasso, Guyanei Franceze si Tarii Bascilor, desi din Tara Bascilor inca nu au primit confirmarea in scris, faxul bascilor fiind defect.

Prefectul a fost capturat si sodomizat

Reprezentantul Guvernului in teritoriu a fost capturat de fortele separatiste, aplicandu-i-se o bataie rupta din rai sau din filmele cu Van Damme, precum si alte rele tratamente, tipice Sodomei, dar mai ales Gomorei.
Circa 4000 de olteni au invadat astazi strazile noii capitale, Craiova, scandand sloganuri diverse, printre care: "Arunca-mi, ba, dimigeana aia!" Ia prazul, neamuleeeeee", "Hai Craiova!", Jos Guvernul" si "Unde fusasi tu, Americo, pana acum?!"

Emblemele statului sunt cel putin ciudate

Drapelul noului stat, Oltenia, este tricolor, cu doua prazuri incrucisate, simbolizand lupta pentru independenta a oltenilor, precum si puterea economica a acestora.
Imnul va fi celebrul cantec "Spune, spune, hot batran", deosebit de popular printre hotii de cai in perioada dintre cele doua razboaie.
Sediul Imprimeriei Nationale din Craiova este in mainile fortelor separatiste, care au inceput deja sa tipareasca noua moneda, denumita sugestiv "Francul". Valoarea nominala a unui Franc este de un Euro. Cu toate acestea, prin satele din Dolj se zvoneste deja ca "A murit Francul".

UDMR sustine ca e un fapt normal

"Valorile nationale ale minoritatii oltenesti au dus astazi la indeplinirea dezideratului de veacuri in regiunea Tinutul Oltenesc. Somam autoritatile de la Bucuresti sa recunoasca de urgenta noul stat, care beneficiaza deja de o ampla recunoastere internationala", a precizat pentru times.ro Marko Polo Bela.

UE ar cam fi de acord

Comisia Europeana a fost informata despre demersul separatist al oltenilor, membrii acesteia declarand: "E ceva de semnat? Dati-le incoace, sa le semnam si astora. De unde sunt? Din Balcani? Dati la semnat, ca ne prinde noaptea aici printre hartoage!" dupa care au plecat la masa, lasand Romania in aer.

Vadim Tudor e contrariat

"Recunosc ca e o miscare neasteptata a oltenilor, care mi-au transmis deja ca Doljul a fost epurat de unguri de peste 100 de ani si ca ma vor de urgenta la Craiova la carma tarii. Voi vedea in continuare ce parere au si generalii mei si voi lua o decizie. Mi s-a adus la cunostinta ca exista mari stocuri de medicamente in Craiova, deci e cu atat mai tentant!"

Si Oltul e in fierbere

Cazanele de tuica fierb de azi dimineata la capacitate maxima si in Judetul Olt, ai carui locuitori sustin ca Doljul le-a furat statul si emblema nationala, ceea ce va duce posibil la un razboi intra-etnic. Ar mai fi, evident, si problema zaibarului, care nu poate fi transata decat printr-o confruntare armata.

Ramanem in continuare cu ochii pe situatie, asteptand si comunicatul oficial al Guvernului, care probabil nu va recunoaste independenta noului stat.

"Dance, Monkeys, Dance" - Ernest Cline

What we are...

Orbiting the sun at about 98 million miles
is a little blue planet
and this planet is run
by a bunch of monkeys.

Now, the monkeys don't think of
themselves as monkeys.
They don't even think of themselves as animals
And they love to list all the things
that they think
separate them from the animals:
Opposable thumbs, self awareness . . .
They'll use words like
Homo Erectus and Australopithecus.

You say Toe-mate-o,
I say Toe-motto.
They're animals all right.
They're monkeys.
Monkeys with high-speed digital fiber optic technology,
but monkeys nevertheless.

I mean, they're clever.
You've got to give them that.
The Pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets,
the Great Wall of China.
That's some pretty impressive shit . . .
for a bunch of monkeys.

Monkeys whose brains have evolved
to such an unmanageable size
that it's now pretty much impossible
for them stay happy for any length of time

In fact, they're the only animals
that think they're supposed to be happy.
All of the other animals can just be.

But it's not that simple for the monkeys.

You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness
and so the monkeys are afraid.
So the monkeys worry.
The monkeys worry about everything,
but mostly about what all the other monkeys think.
Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in
with the other monkeys.

Which is hard to do,
because a lot of the monkeys seem to hate each other.
This is what really separates them from the other animals.
These monkeys hate.
They hate monkeys that are different.
Monkeys from different places,
monkeys who are a different color-

You see, the monkeys feel alone.
All six billion of them.

Some of the monkeys pay another monkey
to listen to their problems.

Because the monkeys want answers
and the monkeys don't want to die.
So the monkeys make up gods
and then they worship them.
Then the monkeys argue
over whose made-up god is better.
Then the monkeys get really pissed off
and this is usually when the monkeys decide
that it's a good time to start killing each other.

So the monkeys wage war.
The monkeys make hydrogen bombs.
The monkeys have got their whole fucking planet
wired up to explode.
The monkeys just can't help it.

Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd . . .
of other monkeys.

The monkeys make trophies
and then they give them to each other.
Like it means something.

Some of the monkeys think
that they have it all worked out.
Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche
The monkeys argue about Nietzsche
without giving any consideration to the fact
that Nietzsche
was just another fucking monkey.

The monkeys make plans.
The monkeys fall in love.
The monkeys fuck
and then they make more monkeys.

The monkeys make music
and then the monkeys DANCE
Dance, monkeys, dance.

The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise.
Exhibit A
Monkey making noise.
And when he's done,
five other randomly selected monkeys
will rate this monkey's noises
on a scale from one to ten.
And at the end of the night,
they add all the numbers up
to see which monkey made the best noises.

As you can see . . .
these are some fucked up monkeys.

These monkeys are at once the ugliest
and most beautiful creatures on the planet.

And the monkeys don't want to be monkeys.
They want to be something else.

100factsabout.com - Top 100 Facts about Patratelu'

1. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Patratelu' is going to walk.
2. Patratelu' invented black. In fact, she invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
3. Patratelu' does not believe that there are 50 states in the US, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction
4. Whenever Patratelu' plays Chutes and Ladders, she treats the chutes as ladders, because she's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide.
5. When Patratelu' deletes files from her computer, she doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. She sends them to hell.
6. Superman owns a pair of Patratelu's pajamas.
7. Patratelu' can delete the Recycling Bin.
8. Patratelu' sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
9. Patratelu' has the heart of a child. She keeps it in a small box.
10. Patratelu' can speak braille.
11. Patratelu' can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
12. Patratelu' once stated that she "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Patratelu' was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
13. Patratelu' and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
14. Patratelu' doesn't read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants.
15. Giraffes were created when Patratelu' uppercutted a horse.
16. Patratelu' was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
17. Patratelu' can slam revolving doors.
18. The word "gay" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "He who has not yet been introduced to Patratelu'."
19. When Patratelu' gives you the finger, she's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
20. On her birthday, Patratelu' randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
21. Patratelu' died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell her.
22. Patratelu' once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
23. Patratelu' sleeps with a night light. Not because Patratelu' is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Patratelu'.
24. Patratelu' is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
25. Patratelu' counted to infinity - twice.
26. Patratelu' does not sleep. She waits.
27. Patratelu' beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.
28. The last man who made eye contact with Patratelu' was Ray Charles.
29. Patratelu's dog is trained to pick up her own poop because Patratelu' will not take crap from anyone.
30. Patratelu' always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
31. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Patratelu' laughing at you.
32. Patratelu' was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
33. Patratelu' can kill two stones with one bird.
34. If Patratelu' wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.
35. Patratelu' can watch a season of "24" in just three hours.
36. Patratelu' owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped her win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite her holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
37. Circles exist because Patratelu' beat the crap out of some squares.
38. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Patratelu's house one Christmas.
39. Patratelu' destroyed the periodic table, saying Patratelu' only recognizes the element of surprise.
40. Patratelu' became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
41. When Patratelu' gets pulled over she lets the cop off with a warning.
42. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Patratelu' can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck she wants.
43. Patratelu's blood type is WD-40.
44. Only once has Patratelu' ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.
45. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Patratelu' punched herself in the face.
46. Patratelu's family wraps her holiday presents in lead, so she can't see what's in them.
47. Getting murdered by Patratelu' counts as a natural cause of death.
48. On a high school math test, Patratelu' put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Patratelu' solves all her problems with Violence.
49. Patratelu' had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere Patratelu' went the lamb was sure to go. So she killed it.
50. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Patratelu' was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
51. Patratelu' is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
52. Patratelu' puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
53. Patratelu' wears a cup not to protect herself, but to protect the players on the other team.
54. Patratelu' once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
55. Onions do not make Patratelu' cry. Patratelu' makes onions crap themselves.
56. If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Patratelu' wins.
57. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals Patratelu' has found too chewy to eat.
58. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Patratelu'.
59. Patratelu's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Patratelu'.
60. Once a cobra bit Patratelu's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
61. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Patratelu' allows to live.
62. Patratelu' can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
63. Patratelu' once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give her a speeding ticket, however Patratelu' still pleads her innocence to this day, stating that she was simply out for a morning jog.
64. Patratelu' is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
65. Patratelu' used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind her.
66. Patratelu' doesn't play "hide-and-seek." She plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
67. Patratelu' can make a paraplegic run for her life.
68. Patratelu' doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Patratelu'.
69. Crop circles are Patratelu's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
70. Patratelu' was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
71. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Patratelu' says its beef, then it's beef.
72. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Patratelu' and forgot to pay her back.
73. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Patratelu', only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.
74. When Patratelu' goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
75. Patratelu' does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Patratelu' goes killing.
76. Patratelu' invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
77. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Patratelu' could use to kill you, including the room itself.
78. Patratelu' is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
79. Patratelu' can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
80. Patratelu' doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
81. Patratelu' played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
82. Weeping Willows are a result of Patratelu' yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
83. The only time Patratelu' was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.
84. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Patratelu' ate Kobayashi.
85. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Patratelu's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
86. When Patratelu' plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
87. When Patratelu' enters a room, she doesn't turn the lights on, she turns the dark off.
88. Patratelu' knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).
89. Patratelu' irons her shirts while she's wearing them.
90. Patratelu' can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
91. Patratelu' is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
92. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Patratelu' has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
93. Patratelu' was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
94. Patratelu' can tie her shoes with her feet.
95. You are what you eat. That is why Patratelu's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
96. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Patratelu' and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
97. Patratelu' is the only one who can "try this at home."
98. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Patratelu'.
99. Patratelu' does not know where you live, but she knows where you will die.
100. Patratelu' has beat the crap out of so many people over her brilliant life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.

What song am I

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Ironic by Alanis Morisette

It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought ... it figures

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

photo quiz

[from stingo]
- go to Google Images
- search for your answer
- pick one image from the first page
- post

1. The age you will be on your next birthday:



2. A place you'd like to travel:


3. Your favorite place: (lol)


4. Your favorite object:


5. Your favorite food:


6. Your favorite animal: (lol i wrote felix cat)


7. Your favorite color:


8. The town in which you were born:


9. The town in which you live:


10. The name of a past pet:


11. The first name of a past love: (lol again :))


13. Your nickname/screenname:


14. Your first name:



15. Your middle name(s):


16. Your last name:


17. A bad habit of yours:

18. Your first job:


19. Your grandmother's name:


20. Your major in college:

Am revenit pe blog, umpic

nu-mi vine sa cred, de cand n-am mai scris.. cred ca nu am avut timp, si de fiecare data cand am vrut sa scriu eram cam trista, asa ca am preferat sa ma abtin.
draga jurnalule.
ai sa ma ierti. m-am gandit mai mult la ce cred ceilalti.
mi-am dat seama de ceva timp, pe de alta parte, ca tind spre un blog profesional, ca imi vine sa scriu chestii legate de serviciu, de lucrurile care mi se intampla acolo. in plus, in putinul timp liber am preferat sa pun poze pe flickr.
mai e ceva rau, si anume ca de cand blogger e legat de gmail, trebuie sa fii si pe gmail cu acelasi cont, si cum eu stau pe gmail, dar nu pe patratelu, mi-e greu sa tot intru si sa tot ies pentru blog. stiu, scuzee..
in seara asta am fost la teatru. a fost o piesa de teatru asa cum ma plangeam ca nu sunt filmele romanesti. filmele romanesti sunt preponderent de doua tipuri:
a. istorice
b. oglinda societatii
filmele de tipul a. sunt cumva ale lui sergiu nicolaescu cam toate. figuri istorice. filmele de tipul b. (un fel de "mergem pe acest drum inutil", cu accent pe inutil) sunt m_i_z_e_r_a_b_i_l_e.
dare to say different.
filmele de tipul b. se intampla in apartamente stramte, cu covoare orientale si bucatarii mici, sau in spitale (mizerabile, evident), sau pe strada (la fel). asta e: spitale, avorturi, saracia, mafia din ferentari ("furia", daca-mi aduc bine aminte), incultura, drama post-comunista.
ziceam zilele astea ca mi-ar placea sa vad un film romanesc care sa prezinte un alt punct de vedere, alte intamplari. autoironie, umor fin, patura de mijloc, ceva firesc, fara amprenta comunista.
piesa din seara asta asa a fost. se cheama "no one" si e despre niste baieti de cartier care vor sa-si faca o trupa.
am ras, am descoperit o gramada de clisee. adevarate. de exemplu, cum obisnuim sa ne certam (cu) prietenii, cum le stim intotdeauna noi cel mai bine pe toate, cum credem ca ni se cuvine totul, cum vrem sa ne impunem cu orice pret. in fine, ma opresc aici, mi-e somn..

vai, am scris mult. dar snt atatea de scris..