Tincturi de frunze

but still...

I started reading Murakami...

"Once the plane was on the ground, soft music began to flow from the ceiling speakers: a sweet orchestral cover version of the Beatles' "Norwegian Wood." The melody never failed to send a shudder through me, but this time it hit me harder than ever.
I bent forward in my seat, face in hands to keep my skull from splitting open. Before long one of the German stewardesses approached and asked in English if Iwere sick. "No," I said, "just dizzy."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Thanks."
She smiled and left, and the music changed to a Billy Joel tune. I straightened up and looked out the plane window at the dark clouds hanging over the North Sea, thinking of what I had lost in the course of my life: times gone forever, friends who had died or disappeared, feelings I would never know again.
The plane reached the gate. People began unlatching their seatbelts and pulling baggage from the storage bins, and all the while I was in the meadow. I could smell the grass, feel the wind on my face, hear the cries of the birds. Autumn 1969, and soon I would be twenty.
The stewardess came to check on me again. This time she sat next to me and asked if I was all right.
"I'm fine, thanks," I said with a smile. "Just feeling kind of blue."
"I know what you mean," she said. "It happens to me, too, every once in a while."
She stood and gave me a lovely smile. "Well, then, have a nice trip. Auf Wiedersehen."
"Auf Wiedersehen."
***
I do need that time, though, for Naoko's face to appear. And as the years have passed, the time has grown longer. The sad truth is that what I could recall in five seconds all too soon needed ten, then thirty, then a full minute-like shadows lengthening at dusk. Someday, I suppose, the shadows will be swallowed up in darkness. There is no way around it: my memory is growing ever more distant from the spot where Naoko used to stand-ever more distant from the spot where my old self used to stand. And nothing but scenery, that view of the meadow in October, returns again and again to me like a symbolic scene in a movie. Each time it appears, it delivers a kick to some part of my mind."Wake up," it says. "I'm still here. Wake up and think about it. Think about why I'm still here." The kicking never hurts me. There's no pain at all. Just a hollow sound that echoes with each kick. And even that is bound to fade one day. At the Hamburg airport, though, the kicks were longer and harder than usual. Which is why I am writing this book. To think. To understand. It just happens to be the way I'm made. I have to write things down to feel I fully comprehend them.

happy or sad

So I know now. If you're happy, share it with everyone. If you're sad, keep it to yourself. No matter how painful it seems to get, just think about it alone and keep it to yourself. This is how we grow up.
And of course life is beautiful. It is. It just seems I can't breathe sometimes and my heart is beating too fast. Life is beautiful, Just that... there must be a more simple way to handle it.

Shopping

This is my/our new friend for the office. A water plant I bought from IKEA today along with my new desk for the laptop, a small one that I can "nail" on the wall in my room, just like that.

Reactions

This image made me laugh and I had this "I have to blog this" type of reaction. Unbelievable. :))
So this is Adolf Picachu, enjoy it.

PS - I'll slowly move to the new blog, it's on livejournal and it has this option for public posts, private posts and posts that only friends can see. Also, I couldn't explain why I write in english, maybe because I use it at work 80% of the time now, but that's recent...
And btw there's this thing on my mind now - I have to talk with my ex-boss, this evening I discovered it seems to be a "problem" with my salary on the last month... such as... it's almost half...

Cher journal,

Today I wrote a post on another blog, for the first time..

Perhaps I'll come back here too from time to time.

In seara asta e punctul maxim de vizibilitate pentru Perseide, "cad stele", adica.. Daca ar fi si intuneric in orasul asta..

black and pink

*taken in Mogosoaia, on 3rd of August

coming back here

I got on my flickr page last evening and there was a funny message there "Don't panic! But you Flickr account has expired". I renewed it and it's ok now.
Also I thought about it these days and I think it wouldn't be fair to change my blog address right now. Nobody reads it anyway.
Surprisingly, I feel ok. I feel reliefed and I feel loved. Or I feel I've been loved. :) And I like the new things I am doing at work.
There were Julianne and Julia and Felix (form Germany) here, and Ken (from Hong Kong), Ken is still here. On saturday evening we went clubbing to some big big club in Bucharest, I think there were half of the sluts of Bucharest there, but it was very nice that it was outside and people at my table were nice.
I had a good day today, first at my new job. It was nice, people are nice, there is serious work to be done there and I'm handling it well I guess.
I feel easy, not extremely, that would be unreal. I feel ok. My cousins are here and we're gonna watch a movie, last evening I saw "Horton hears a who" and I laughed a lot.
Today I got a message from Diana, it was the first time she wrote and interesting timing, we're gonna meet tomorrow for a beer I guess.
Also I had a long conversation with L, she called trying to convince me she's sane and it's just a matter of behaviour..
I don't know what to do this weekend and I also have to plan the trip to Ohrid..
Gotta go, it's getting late.
Good night cher journal.

De la Alex, un citat de Milan Kundera

"There is a secret bond between slowness and memory, between speed and forgetting. A man is walking down the street. At a certain moment, he tries to recall something, but the recollection escapes him. Automatically, he slows down.
Meanwhile, a person who wants to forget a disagreeable incident he has just lived through starts unconsciously to speed up his pace, as if he were trying to distance himself from a thing still too close to him in time.
The degree of slowness is directly proportional to the intensity of memory; the degree of speed is directly proportional to the intensity of forgetting."

What comes to mind now is 2 people that walked the same speed.. the difference of the pace, I guess this is what hurts the most. Probably, the difference between the most beautiful memories and the ugliest ones, both shared.
I'm such a kid, I still don't understand this life.

I'll soon leave, I'll stop writing here.. it's stupid. This blog used to fix me once..

un post de pe bedforlove

"Hai sa scriem despre dragoste. Povesti incredibile cu intorsaturi pe masura. Iubiri imposibile care se aduna acolo jos in stomac sa-si mestece durerea. Sa scriem despre dragoste cu furia neputintei de a mai iubi dar cu speranta la puterea "n".

Sa scriem despre strazi ude si zambete fugare, despre esarfe cu parfumul "ei" sa scriem despre mii de kilometri de cautari desarte, despre dueluri si cai albi sub ziduri moarte. Sa scriem mii de pagini doar despre un sarut, sa ii desfacem anatomia-n mii de molecule.

Sa scriem despre o privire, o singura privire ca aceea a lui Cicikov in Suflete Moarte cand pentru o clipa s-a crezut capabil de o iubire mai presus de sine. Sa scriem despre dragoste-n mizerie sau razboi despre povestea unui pian atins de mainile unei fete batrane care regreta eternul colonel.

Sa scriem despre amanti si adulter, despre o nunta ca-n povesti, sa scriem despre-un hippiot plin de mister sa ne salvam prin scris si sa chemam iubirea cu incantatii celte, sa ploua peste soare si sa ne ninga ambrozie, oriunde te invarti pe orice strada orice copil de-o schioapa sa stie o poveste dedpre iubirea dintre un el si-o ea...sa fie oriunde un fir de agatat...ca sa te poti salva, ca sa mai poti zambi sau ca sa-ti speli privirea cu lacrimi de o zi...prostii...prostii...prostii.."

de pe tudorchirila.blogspot.com

"In lumile fiecareia dintre lumi, nu poti cunoaste ceva, orice, cu adevarat, decat in masura in care te poti recunoaste. Nu pot darui decat in masura in care poti primi un dar si nu poti ajuta cu adevarat decat in masura in care poti iubi intr-adevar cu adevarat." - Florin CHILIAN

thoughts and happenings

So this is something I've tried not to write here. About who I am. So I worked as a recruiter, and in the last year I had more than 3000 interviews. 3000 stories, 3000 pieces of very different lives. I've seen at least 4 people born in the same day as me and as all my friends and as all my relatives. I've seen very intelligent people, I've seen lots of "less" intelligent people (some of them I didn't know they exist), I've seen mental illness - way too many cases, I've seen energy and laziness and sense of humour and frustration and lots of emotions and characteristics. I've read hundreds of thousands of CVs, I've answered and talked to tens of thousands of unknown people. I've listened to thousands of voices. I've tried to find the best parts of people that were clearly not fit for some jobs, I tried to be as objective as possible, I tried to find solutions where no solution was there at the moment. I think I did my best. I rarely use the word "evaluate", I don't like evaluating people as a job. It's the same every day, it makes you run away from people or at least put a wall in between, it gets you tired.

It's common to people not to draw conclusions, not to think they are doing things that worth telling, just to get used to situations and live them. I probably wouldn't write these lines too if I hadn't decided to change my job on another area of expertise. So there are three days left here and in a way i feel relieved. In many ways, actually. I'm sorry for what I leave behind, but I'm glad in many other ways. In this case, these days I was soo concerned about what I'm leaving behind that I couldn't enjoy what's coming. And I think I did a great job and if I look behind, even if I'm not necessarily searching for learning and experience, I heard a lot, I learned a lot, I accomplished a lot.

So right about now Felix and Julia came, they are staying at my place for a few days. And I went down to get them, they came by taxi and it was a "fake" taxi, and the taxi driver was arguing with them. Actually they paid 20 lei and the taxi driver was saying he told them from the train station that it was 20 lei each, that means 60. They were 3. Then he became a little violent, let's say invading our space, and he was telling me to tell them to give more money. I was telling him that it's illegal what he's doing and at some point when he was more and more violent I told him I might write down his number of the car, to which he answered "It doesn't matter, I have another one in the front". (??)
Anyway, I was calm and sleepy and wearing my cow pijamas and we turned our back and slowly walked away. :))

And tomorrow I'm having a hard day at work, the first of the last 3, and I should get some sleep.

:))

"Well... I think the more pessimistic I feel about life, the more optimistic the films should be. This is the way I think about it. Life is too sad to bear and there is no hope for anyone. So now, let us drink to happy endings."
Aki Kaurismaki

i'm bleeding. this is how i am, since you asked.

belongings

They met at a rummage sale: sad, discarded, useless objects that needed to become shiny and special through novelty. Grapes had known Socks vaguely, but they had never been close, and finding Socks under these strained circumstances evoked in Grapes a certain tenderness that had thus far been dormant. Grapes was in the throes of that first recovery from heartbreak, not the heartbreak of losing a lover, but that of losing faith in yourself, the sudden knowledge that maybe the world isn't in love with you, or against you, just indifferent. It had left Grapes with a new kindness towards weakness in itself and others.
Before Grapes might have been embarrassed to be seen at a rummage sale, out there with the dusty plastic cuckoo clock whose wood grain was obviously fake and the Budweiser mirror. At the very least, it would have been positive that anyone it met there would have to be a bigger loser than itself. But now it saw the beauty in humility, in lives led despite disappointment and loss.
Grapes started a conversation with Socks, and Socks was pleased to be noticed. Just out of a long relationship, Socks was ready for anyone or anything that made it feel more itself, not just part of a pair, special in its own right. Socks was tired of being in a couple, someone's second half, apairofsocks, one word, no individual identity. At the same time, Socks was scared of facing the world alone, after all that time safe inside the shared protection of coupledom. Socks had to restrain itself from using the word "we" in its answers to Grapes' questions about what Socks had been up to, and its stories reflected the careful deletion of its ex. "Well, I've been traveling, a lot, you know, backpacking around Europe," (when it had been the two of them, apairofsocks, in that backpack). "In Scotland I got to the train station five minutes after the train left and everything was closed in this tiny little town and I had to spend the night in the station,"(implying it was only Socks, leaving out the sex in the bathroom). Grapes knew about the breakup, everyone knew about the breakup, and Grapes found Socks' dissimulation touchingly awkward, as well as a clear sign that Socks was interested. "Wow, I'd love to hear more stories of your adventures," Grapes said.
"Well, let's get out of here," Socks answered, and Grapes knew Socks wanted them to go home together. Grapes was sick of itself, of its own thoughts and fears and Socks' attention provided a welcome distraction.
Rebound, rebound, rebound.
That night Socks rediscovered its body as something that belonged to itself. The moves Socks had perfected with its ex were useless with Grapes. When Socks moved furiously against Grapes, looking to create that electricity that would glue their bodies together, Grapes touched Socks gently and said, "Slow down," offering itself up to be consumed. So Socks did, and learned new moves, and fell asleep warm and happy.
Grapes and Socks were the most communicative of lovers, the most understanding. Socks told Grapes that it wasn't ready for anything big, and Grapes listened, but nonetheless, neither of them was surprised when Grapes started to spend every night at Socks' place. Their relationship was defined by its lack of craziness: they did their best to be fair, and kind, and open with one another. For the first time in its life, Grapes was coming to understand the meaning of the word serenity, and Socks was a big part of this. Grapes stopped worrying all the time, and settled into the serious business of living and working and loving.

more and more..

..hollow, i feel lately. yes, i guess that's the word. hollow. from time to time, but more and more..
get used to it, i say to myself. it will pass. eventually. and if not, be like that. it's fine. it's fine. leave it. you should have done it earlier, leave it.. so what?

out of town

There are over 30 degrees here all the time and I'm thinking. I'd prefer it some other way.. like.. hot summer for 2 weeks, winter (with snow) for 2 weeks, and the other "half" of the year - autumn and spring. A loong spring, when you can observe different trees blossom slowly, you can see the flowers and the leaves growing.. not just like it happened this year. All of a sudden all the trees were full and green and I hated it, everything looked strange. :)
And a long coloured autumn, with golden and red leaves falling reaaally slowly.

We're going to the mountains next weekend, but I know now.. I want to go to the seaside. I was listening to REM - Nightswimming, when I suddenly realised it.. I wanna go to the seaside..

vai si as avea o gramada de lucruri de spus, dar atata m-am chinuit in ultimul timp (de fapt, aproape de cand am inceput sa scriu) sa nu zic nimic despre mine si despre ce fac, despre viata mea de zi cu zi, concret.. of.. :)

Draga jurnalule...

Cum sa fac? nu am mai scris demult. E adevarat ca nu am timp, abia acum am terminat cu proiectele pentru azi, dar mai e si altceva. Mi se pare din ce in ce mai aiurea sa scriu pe blog. Mi se pare ca nu vreau sa ma citeasca oameni cunoscuti, fara sa vreau eu. Mi se pare aiurea sa vorbesc despre ce simt intr-o lume informationala si informationalizata si informatizata. Pare lame si emo :)))))

Si e si timpul. Azi noapte am stat pana la 2 de povesti cu Alex, mi-a fost greu sa ma trezesc, la serviciu o gramada de treaba si 2 proiecte noi, apoi la dentist, chiar, uitasem (am o masea noua), si apoi cu Bianca la Mac sa lucram pe ppt-ul pe TST, apoi proiectul pe Leonardo, de acasa. Si niste peste afumat cu pilaf. Si muzica, chiar, sa pun ceva muzica.. "do you think you can tell"..

Altfel, am citit aseara niste povesti frumoase, pe sleeptrip.com/belongings, o sa pun si aici din ele, cred. A fost frumos, parca fiecare iti aduce aminte de ceva ce s-a intamplat inca, sau ceva ce se intampla, sau ceva ce se va intampla. Si e interesanta teoria ca la un moment dat in viata sunt 2 chestii care simti ca s-ar putea intampla in viitor, si sunt sanse egale pentru ambele sa se intample. Exemplul de acolo e "I will never find someone to be with" sau "I will marry and have children." Si exista un moment (mai "in tinerete" cred) cand le simti pe amandoua. Asta e o bucatica de gand, nici nu stiu cine a scris toate alea, si apoi sunt vreo 6 povesti.
Sunt de pe stumbleupon, am dat de ele din intamplare.. stumbleupon devine addictive chiar si pentru mine.

Noapte buna, draga jurnalule.

I've

surviving time

Draga jurnalule,
Tocmai ai facut... cati oare? 3? ani.
Multumesc, Alex. Ca m-ai ajutat sa descopar ceva care acum pare exprimarea tuturor gandurilor mele copilaresti. Cele care puteau fi exprimate. Si mai mult...

« I've often imagined gazes
surviving the act of seeing
as if they were poles,
measured distances, lances
in battle.

Then I think of a room
just abandoned
where similar traces remain
for a time, suspended and intersecting
in the balance of their design
intact and overlapping, like
pick-up-sticks. »

© Translation: 1991, Valerio Magrelli From: Nearsights (Translated by Anthony Molino)
all from here

How long do good things last?...

the office assistant

10 Signs Of Being In Love That Might Actually Be Symptoms Of Crippling Or Fatal Disease

1. Skippy heartbeat when you think of him/her.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: Tachycardia which may lead to ventricular fibrillation and myocardial infarction (heart attack)



2. Restless trembling of hands, feet and other body parts.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: Parkinson's Disease



3. Constant smiling.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: Bell's Palsy



4. Absent mindedness, forgetfulness, inability to focus on tasks at work or home.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: early onset Alzheimer's Disease



5. Frequent or constant sexual arousal.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: nymphomania



6. Weakening of knees and bursts of energy when he/she calls or comes over.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: multiple sclerosis



7. Inability to stop thinking about him/her.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: OCD



8. Bruising on neck, breasts and other tender areas.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: leukemia



9. Insomnia.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: benign prostatic hyperplasia



10. Feeling that you can smell/hear/feel him or her when not in his/her presence.

You think it's: Love
Medical possibility: schizophrenia

[de pe listmania42.blogspot.com, nu ca ar fi amuzant, dar unele linkuri sunt interesante..]

BINGO pentru şedinţe

Suportaţi cu greu şedinţele ?

Vă enervaţi sau vă ia somnul în timpul conferinţelor ?

Problemele dumneavostră au luat sfârşit. Pentru că există BINGO pentru şedinţe

O metoda foarte eficace pentru a-ţi păstra concentrarea în timpul şedinţelor şi al reuniunilor.

Cum se joacă ?

1. Decupaţi tabelul de mai jos, înaintea şedinţei.

2. De fiecare dată când un cuvânt din oricare căsuţă este pronunţat, bifaţi-l.

3. În momentul în care aveţi o linie, o coloană sau o diagonală plină, strigaţi « BINGO ! ».

Sinergie	Convergenţă	Reciprocitate	Target	Brainstorming	Client
Rezultate	Optimizare	Eficace	A reforma	Buget	A finaliza
Fază	Proces	Managementul costurilor	Proiect	Model	Actor
Mentalitate	Calitate	A soluţiona	Problematic	Misiune	Parteneri
Relativ	Gestionare	Dezvoltare	Scăderea cheltuielilor	Agendă	Transversal
Strategie	Punere în practică	Proiect pilot	Influenţă	Resurse	Investiţii

Mărturii ale celor care au încercat deja :

• "Am câştigat după doar 5 minute de la începerea şedinţei"
• "Capacitatea mea de concentrare s-a ameliorat simţitor cu acest Bingo"
• "Atmosfera din timpul ultimei şedinţe a fost foarte încărcată, întrucât 14 persoane erau deja gata să umple a 5-a căsuţă după primul sfert de oră. Directorul a fost foarte surprins să audă 8 persoane strigând în acelaşi timp "BINGO".
• "Acum mă prezint la fiecare reuniune din firmă, chiar dacă nu am fost invitat."

Is it just me or this is really weird?

Am citit un articol mic mic mic in Compact. Era pe coloana subtire din dreapta de tot si avea 5 randuri.
Zicea ca in judetul Mehedinti corcodusii au facut pastai de fasole. La propriu. Si mai ziceau ca se pare ca e o mutatie genetica de la nu stiu ce cenusa a unei fabrici din zona parca. La mai mare. Dar sa nu fie prea mari pastaile, ca o sa se rupa crengile. Ati mai citit voi asta undeva?

iar

of, e asa liniste si ciudat acum de cand ai plecat. of..
si au trecut doar 12 ore.. :D

and this evening I wrote you a mail I'm never going to send..

the real thing - a poem

yes, I know that you think
I am wrong
but
I know what is right for me
and what
is not.
may I tell you my
dream?

I am surrounded by
thick cement walls,
I am dressed in a red
robe
and I am sitting at an
organ.
there is not a
sound.
I begin to play the
organ.
the hiss of the notes
is sharp and soft
at the same time.

it is a slightly bitter
music
but among the dark notes
there are flashes of light and
laughter.

as I play,
the incomprehensible mystery
of the past
and of the present
becomes
comprehensible.

and best of all,
as I play,
nobody hears the music
but me.

the music is only
for me.

that is my
dream.

The Real Thing - C. Bukowski

Pentru o viata sanatoasa... :)

Pentru adultii contemporani, pseudo-intelecto-neuro-ipohondri... adica noi... Se spune ca zilnic trebuie sa mancam un mar pentru fier si o banana pentru potasiu. De asemenea o portocala pentru vitamina C, o jumatate pepene galben pentru a imbunatati digestia si o cana de ceai verde, fara zahar, pentru a preveni diabetul. In fiecare zi trebuie sa bei doi litri de apa si apoi sa astepti timp dublu decat timpul pe care ti l-a luat ca sa le bei. Zilnic trebuie sa mananci Activia sau iaurt, pentru a avea "L.Cassei Defensis", care nu stie nimeni ce este, dar se pare ca, daca nu bei un iaurt si jumatate in fiecare zi, incepi sa vezi lumea cam tulbure. In fiecare zi o aspirina, pentru a preveni infarctul, si un pahar de vin rosu, pentru acelasi lucru. Si altul de vin alb, pentru sistemul nervos. Si unul de bere, pe care deja nu-mi mai amintesc pentru ce era. Daca le bei pe toate impreuna, chiar si daca faci o congestie, nu te mai preocupa si probabil nici nu te mai intereseaza. In fiecare zi trebuie sa mananci fibre. Multe, foarte multe fibre. Trebuie sa mananci intre 4-6 feluri zilnic, usoare, fara sa uiti sa mesteci de 100 de ori fiecare inghititura. Facand un mic calcul, doar pentru a manca, iti ia cam 5 ore. Ah, dupa fiecare mancare trebuie sa te speli pe dinti, adica: dupa Activia si fibre, dintii, dupa banana, dintii, dupa mar, dintii... si asa, daca ai dinti, fara sa uiti sa folosesti firul dentar, masajul gingiilor, o sorbitura de Plax. Mai bine umple cada si pune muzica, pentruca intre apa, fibra si dinti, iti vei petrece cateva ore aici, inauntru. Daca dormi 8 ore si lucrezi alte 8, plus cele 5 pe care le folosim pentru mancare, fac 21. Iti raman 3, in care intotdeauna se poate intampla ceva imprevizibil. Dupa statistici, vedem 3 ore zilnic televizor. Ei bine, deja nu se poate, pentru ca in fiecare zi trebuie sa mergi cel putin o jumatate de ora adica sa te intorci dupa 15 minute, ca altfel dupa o jumatate de ora se face o ora de mers. Si trebuie sa-ti pastrezi prieteniile, pentru ca sunt ca plantele: trebuie udate zilnic. Si cand pleci in vacanta de asemeni. Pe langa asta trebuie sa fii bine informat, asa ca trebuie sa citesti cel putin doua ziare si anumite articole de revista, pentru a compara informatia. Ah!, trebuie sa faci sex zilnic, dar fara sa ajungi sa fie ca o rutina: trebuie sa fii inventator, creator, sa renovezi seductia. Asta ia timp; si nici nu mai vorbim daca este sex tantric!!! (cu respect iti amintesc: dupa fiecare mancare , trebuie sa-ti perii dintii). De asemenea trebuie sa-ti faci timp pentru curatenie, pentru spalat rufe, vase, si nu mai zic daca ai caine, sau alt animal... copiii… In fine, dupa socoteala mea, imi ies cam 29 de ore zilnic. Singura posibilitate care-mi trece prin minte este sa faci mai multe lucruri deodata, de exemplu: iti faci dus cu apa rece si cu gura deschisa, asa bei cei 2 litri de apa. In timp ce iesi din baie cu periuta de dinti in gura, te duci sa faci amor (tantric) in picioare, cu perechea ta, care in treacat se uita la TV si comenteaza, in timp ce tu maturi. Ti-a ramas o mana libera? Cheama-ti prietenii si parintii!!! Bea vinul (dupa ce iti chemi parintii va fi nevoie). Iaurtul cu mar ti-l poate da perechea ta, in timp ce isi mananca banana cu Activia si maine schimbati. Cel putin ca deja am crescut, nu mai trebuie sa luam obligatoriul Danonino Extra Calcio in fiecare zi. Uuuf!!! Dar daca iti raman 2 minute, retrimite asta prietenilor (pe care trebuie sa-i uzi ca pe plante), in timp ce iei o lingurita de All Bran, care face foarte bine). Si acuma te las pentru ca intre iaurt, jumatatea de pepene, berea, primul litru de apa si a treia mancare de fibra din zi, deja nu stiu ce sa mai fac, dar am nevoie la closet urgent. Ah, o sa profit si imi voi lua periuta de dinti...

[nu stim autorul]

Personal DNA Test

about you

You are an Idealist

As an IDEALIST, you are distinctive for your integration of confidence, imagination, willingness to explore, and desire for competence over style.

You have a strong capacity to comprehend the inner workings of things, finding new ideas and innovative insights to feed your curious nature.

You are quite comfortable in the realm of abstract thought. You don't need a practical solution to every one of life's questions.

You are comfortable with the decisions you make in life. You don't need to second-guess yourself, or seek a lot of opinions before you make up your mind.

You enjoy the routines that you have created in your life, and don't feel the need to shake things up just for the sake of change.

You generally succeed at what you do, and others would describe you as successful.

It is important to you that products be efficient – looking good has to come second to working well.

You aren't the kind of person who needs to collect stylish items in an attempt to create an attractive environment – you know that what matters most is function, not style.

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different:

You take time to explore your own thoughts and ideas, but this experience would only be heightened if you opened yourself up even more to others' ideas.

Your faith in yourself and your lifestyle is well-founded, but the occasional foray into the unknown might broaden your perspective and help you see things differently.

how you relate to others

You are Advocating

Being social, empathic, and understanding makes you ADVOCATING.

Some people find being around others exhausting—but not you! You are energized by spending time with friends, and you are good at meeting new people.

One of the reasons you enjoy conversation as much as you do is that you often learn about yourself while talking things out with a friend; you realize things about your own beliefs while discussing them with others.

You have insight into what others are thinking and feeling. This ability allows you to be happy for others, and to commiserate when something has gone wrong for them.

You are highly compassionate, and being conscious of how things affect those close to you leaves you cautious about trusting others too hastily.

Despite these reservations, you are open-minded when it comes to your worldview; you don't look to impose your ways on others.

Your sensitivity towards others' plights contributes to an understanding—both intellectual and emotional—of many different perspectives.

As someone who understands the complexities of the world around you, you are reluctant to pass judgments.

If you want to be different:

While it's important to think about others, don't forget to take some time for yourself, and occassionally to put yourself first.

Take some time to spend with a few close friends; although it's difficult to find people to trust, it's worth the effort.

When you have great ideas, it can be hard to relinquish control, but it can also feel good to take the pressure off and enjoy someone else leading the way.

job cool :)

Junior Vrajitor : Senior Tech

Descrierea firmei:

Cazanul Vesel este o companie de recrutare specializata pe domeniul stiintelor oculte. Recrutam pe pozitii cum ar fi: Junior Vrajitor, Tehnician Papusi Voodoo, Operator Ghilotina, Agent Paza (stabilit la Poarta Raiului) sau Recruiter (Iad Area).
Calitatea oferita vine din experienta noastra in acest domeniu specific si din abilitatea noastra de a conjura entitatea perfecta pentru pozitia potrivita.
Avem "Full Membership Status" in cadrul Arhivelor Akasice, acest lucru oferindu-ne accesul catre CVul absolut oricarei fiinte si nefiinte din toate Universurile. Daca aveti nevoie ca treaba sa fie facuta bine, cu NOI ar trebui sa lucrati...or else!!!

Descrierea postului:

- asigurarea stocului de consumabile (ochi de triton, praf de unghii de broasca, aripi de liliac etc.),
- pregatirea focului de fiecare Luna Plina,
- oferirea de suport tehnic Vrajitorilor Seniori la cererea acestora,

Cerinte:

-har peste nivel mediu (Certificat de Har Peste Nivel Mediu - CHPNM reprezinta un plus);
-experienta in domeniu de cel putin 5 vieti anterioare,
-cunostinte de divinatie (preferabil chiro si oniromantie),
-abilitati de channeling, conjurare si vindecare obligatorii,
-cunoasterea Ritualului Roman este un plus,
-dovada de seriozitate in relatia cu Universul interior si exterior!

Oferta (bonusuri, beneficii):

Pachetul salarial este unul competitiv, cu multe bonusuri (farmece de vindecare gratuite, bonuri de masa zilnice, prime de Halloween, Sambata Mortilor etc.) si distractie de 1 Aprilie.
Exista de asemenea posibilitate de avansare foarte buna - este planificat ca in decurs de o viata, persoana care va ocupa acest post sa devina Senior Vrajitor cu pozibilitatea de specializare pe unul din domeniile urmatoare: Necromantie, Divinatie sau Vindecare.

"Such Great Heights" - Iron and Wine

I
Am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I
have to speculate
that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay

And true,
It may seem like a stretch,
but it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away when I am missing you to death

When
You are out there on the road
For several weeks of shows and when you scan the radio, I hope this song will guide you home.

They will see us waving from such great heights,
'Come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'Come down now,' but we'll stay...

I
Tried my best to leave
This all on your machine but the persistent beat it sounded thin upon listening

And that
frankly will not fly.
You will hear the shrillest highs and lowest lows with the windows down when this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights,
'Come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'Come down now,' but we'll stay...

choices

Draga jurnalule,

Sunt pe muchea unei decizii importante, ca sa zic asa. Tre sa ma hotarasc ce fac in urmatorii 3 ani, si nu e deloc usor. Au fost 3 ani, si tre sa ma hotarasc daca m-as mai putea responsabiliza pentru inca 3. Tot ce stiu acum e ca snt foarte obo, si ca uneori trag prea mult de mine. Am inceput sa cred si ca lucrez prea departe de casa, si prea multe ore. Pe de alta parte, daca imi fac ordine in viata si daca iau o pauza de vreo 2 luni, parca as putea.. Nu stiu, cel mai mult ma sperie neimplicarea altora. Dar parca vad ca o sa fac acelasi lucru, si daca mai candidez si daca nu.. Si oricum, as someone said, as putea sa ma retrag daca nu mai pot.. A fost multa lume care mi-a zis zilele astea ca trebuie sa candidez iar. Si am inceput sa ma gandesc.. Hmm.. Altfel, eram atat de hotarata sa ma retrag.. E bine ca m-am convins si ca nu dau 2 bani pe functie. Doar ca trebuie sa continuam sa ne dezvoltam, mai snt atatea de facut.. Acum nu stiu ce sa mai zic, deci, cert e ca mai sunt 48 de ore, tre sa ma decid. Si parca as putea. Of..

the burnout curve

De seara..

Draga jurnalule,
Am scris un rand, si am sters. Te-am uitat o vreme, si nu stiu daca ma mai intorc acum. Asa se intampla.
E luni, apoi e joi, apoi e duminica. Duminica cealalta. Apoi e iar marti si sambata, si vine luna urmatoare. E deja martie, si nu stiu de cand. De ceva timp, se pare. Se povesteste cum ca e ceva cu campul magnetic al Pamantului, si ca ziua nu mai are 24 de ore, ci 16. Practic. Mi-ar placea sa mai pot scrie, sa merg prin parc seara dupa serviciu, sa ma plimb prin oras, sa fac poze.. Si chiar vreau sa mai scriu, candva. In ultimele luni nu am scris aproape deloc, si snt atatea.
In weekend merg la tara. Desigur, vineri seara plec. Duminica seara cred ca trebuie sa fiu in Bucuresti pt ca e ziua lui Alex.
Oricum, mai am putin de lucru si merg sa dorm.
Noapte buna, cher journal...

there were so many people in my house the last 2 evenings. i am back home from budapest, i have things to do and i'm doing a pretty good job. this evening i had to "mediate" a therapy session between my cousin and his mother. they both cried and i almost cried too. actually their life is hard. different. they are handling it. a good friend of mine, that's taking care of my teeth too :) says that we don't even know how much we, humans, can endure. i guess we don't, and i guess we're far stronger than we think we are. how did i come to write this? :)
i think i had a great year last year. this year will be the year of choices. job and voluntary work and other projects and personal life and myself.. and as jean michel used to say "tout choix est un renoncement" - "every choice is also an abandon".
i had a great year last year. there are many beautiful moments to remember. there's all the things that happened, the new job, the places, friends, and..
and this year, the beginning of it.. there were things that made me so sad. and this feeling i have.. this year, some of the battles will be lost, i should know better already. i'll handle it, just don't tell me how beautiful life is. some of the battles, i won't fight them anymore. they're lost anyway. look around you. look.. wake up.. look.. stop taking things for granted.. if you don't see it, it's only because you don't wanna see it..
good night, patratel.
spring is here. and then there will be summer, and autumn.. and you'll survive.

so i am now in budapest working on a some management issue that needs all my attention and thinking of a thousand different tasks, activities, tasks to be done, people, job, and you.. and i feel i need some time for myself but on the other hand if i'd have it i'd be totally panicked.. what to do with all that time, and why should i waste it only for myself. and then again this is not ok either, is it like running away? or some people are just like this?
sometimes i think of life and all these questions come to mind. yes life might be beautiful but what's its purpose?
sometimes i think i should go somewhere alone, and see how i handle myself. sometimes i wonder how would come after me, but this thought is more and more rare, probably it comes with age.
i didn't write in quite a while so now i am letting it flow, even if it might not make sense.
and there are times i am sad. it's mostly related to people. and i repeat to myself again that i want to learn to love unconditionally. though i don't think some could love me till the end of time, unconditionally or not. sometimes i take the chance and not judge people, and when i do judge is because suddenly what i saw good in them is not there anymore or seems to have totally different reasons. and i don't expect anything, but when somehow all of a sudden i have expectations, maybe because i'm sad, they seem high enough.
i am ok, i guess. i'm trying to make it last, with people that are now around me. sometimes i feel like meeting new people, but i am just fed up from work. i became cold, maybe. or maybe life makes us that way. or maybe we just don't express it anymore, or... i'll probably complete this later. i gotta go now.
nevertheless, we die alone.

Dupa exemplul Kosovo...

[o stire care circula pe net, nu-i stiu autorul...:))]

Judetul Dolj si-a declarat independenta

Autoritatile de la Craiova au transmis astazi la ora 8:00 Parlamentului declaratia prin care oltenii isi declara unilateral independenta

Printr-o miscare total neasteptata, oltenii separatisti din Dolj, inspirati de precedentul kosovar, si-au declarat independenta, cu sprijinul tacit al Chinei, Burkinei Fasso, Guyanei Franceze si Tarii Bascilor, desi din Tara Bascilor inca nu au primit confirmarea in scris, faxul bascilor fiind defect.

Prefectul a fost capturat si sodomizat

Reprezentantul Guvernului in teritoriu a fost capturat de fortele separatiste, aplicandu-i-se o bataie rupta din rai sau din filmele cu Van Damme, precum si alte rele tratamente, tipice Sodomei, dar mai ales Gomorei.
Circa 4000 de olteni au invadat astazi strazile noii capitale, Craiova, scandand sloganuri diverse, printre care: "Arunca-mi, ba, dimigeana aia!" Ia prazul, neamuleeeeee", "Hai Craiova!", Jos Guvernul" si "Unde fusasi tu, Americo, pana acum?!"

Emblemele statului sunt cel putin ciudate

Drapelul noului stat, Oltenia, este tricolor, cu doua prazuri incrucisate, simbolizand lupta pentru independenta a oltenilor, precum si puterea economica a acestora.
Imnul va fi celebrul cantec "Spune, spune, hot batran", deosebit de popular printre hotii de cai in perioada dintre cele doua razboaie.
Sediul Imprimeriei Nationale din Craiova este in mainile fortelor separatiste, care au inceput deja sa tipareasca noua moneda, denumita sugestiv "Francul". Valoarea nominala a unui Franc este de un Euro. Cu toate acestea, prin satele din Dolj se zvoneste deja ca "A murit Francul".

UDMR sustine ca e un fapt normal

"Valorile nationale ale minoritatii oltenesti au dus astazi la indeplinirea dezideratului de veacuri in regiunea Tinutul Oltenesc. Somam autoritatile de la Bucuresti sa recunoasca de urgenta noul stat, care beneficiaza deja de o ampla recunoastere internationala", a precizat pentru times.ro Marko Polo Bela.

UE ar cam fi de acord

Comisia Europeana a fost informata despre demersul separatist al oltenilor, membrii acesteia declarand: "E ceva de semnat? Dati-le incoace, sa le semnam si astora. De unde sunt? Din Balcani? Dati la semnat, ca ne prinde noaptea aici printre hartoage!" dupa care au plecat la masa, lasand Romania in aer.

Vadim Tudor e contrariat

"Recunosc ca e o miscare neasteptata a oltenilor, care mi-au transmis deja ca Doljul a fost epurat de unguri de peste 100 de ani si ca ma vor de urgenta la Craiova la carma tarii. Voi vedea in continuare ce parere au si generalii mei si voi lua o decizie. Mi s-a adus la cunostinta ca exista mari stocuri de medicamente in Craiova, deci e cu atat mai tentant!"

Si Oltul e in fierbere

Cazanele de tuica fierb de azi dimineata la capacitate maxima si in Judetul Olt, ai carui locuitori sustin ca Doljul le-a furat statul si emblema nationala, ceea ce va duce posibil la un razboi intra-etnic. Ar mai fi, evident, si problema zaibarului, care nu poate fi transata decat printr-o confruntare armata.

Ramanem in continuare cu ochii pe situatie, asteptand si comunicatul oficial al Guvernului, care probabil nu va recunoaste independenta noului stat.

"Dance, Monkeys, Dance" - Ernest Cline

What we are...

Orbiting the sun at about 98 million miles
is a little blue planet
and this planet is run
by a bunch of monkeys.

Now, the monkeys don't think of
themselves as monkeys.
They don't even think of themselves as animals
And they love to list all the things
that they think
separate them from the animals:
Opposable thumbs, self awareness . . .
They'll use words like
Homo Erectus and Australopithecus.

You say Toe-mate-o,
I say Toe-motto.
They're animals all right.
They're monkeys.
Monkeys with high-speed digital fiber optic technology,
but monkeys nevertheless.

I mean, they're clever.
You've got to give them that.
The Pyramids, skyscrapers, phantom jets,
the Great Wall of China.
That's some pretty impressive shit . . .
for a bunch of monkeys.

Monkeys whose brains have evolved
to such an unmanageable size
that it's now pretty much impossible
for them stay happy for any length of time

In fact, they're the only animals
that think they're supposed to be happy.
All of the other animals can just be.

But it's not that simple for the monkeys.

You see, the monkeys are cursed with consciousness
and so the monkeys are afraid.
So the monkeys worry.
The monkeys worry about everything,
but mostly about what all the other monkeys think.
Because the monkeys desperately want to fit in
with the other monkeys.

Which is hard to do,
because a lot of the monkeys seem to hate each other.
This is what really separates them from the other animals.
These monkeys hate.
They hate monkeys that are different.
Monkeys from different places,
monkeys who are a different color-

You see, the monkeys feel alone.
All six billion of them.

Some of the monkeys pay another monkey
to listen to their problems.

Because the monkeys want answers
and the monkeys don't want to die.
So the monkeys make up gods
and then they worship them.
Then the monkeys argue
over whose made-up god is better.
Then the monkeys get really pissed off
and this is usually when the monkeys decide
that it's a good time to start killing each other.

So the monkeys wage war.
The monkeys make hydrogen bombs.
The monkeys have got their whole fucking planet
wired up to explode.
The monkeys just can't help it.

Some of the monkeys play to a sold out crowd . . .
of other monkeys.

The monkeys make trophies
and then they give them to each other.
Like it means something.

Some of the monkeys think
that they have it all worked out.
Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche
The monkeys argue about Nietzsche
without giving any consideration to the fact
that Nietzsche
was just another fucking monkey.

The monkeys make plans.
The monkeys fall in love.
The monkeys fuck
and then they make more monkeys.

The monkeys make music
and then the monkeys DANCE
Dance, monkeys, dance.

The monkeys make a hell of a lot of noise.
Exhibit A
Monkey making noise.
And when he's done,
five other randomly selected monkeys
will rate this monkey's noises
on a scale from one to ten.
And at the end of the night,
they add all the numbers up
to see which monkey made the best noises.

As you can see . . .
these are some fucked up monkeys.

These monkeys are at once the ugliest
and most beautiful creatures on the planet.

And the monkeys don't want to be monkeys.
They want to be something else.

100factsabout.com - Top 100 Facts about Patratelu'

1. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Patratelu' is going to walk.
2. Patratelu' invented black. In fact, she invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
3. Patratelu' does not believe that there are 50 states in the US, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction
4. Whenever Patratelu' plays Chutes and Ladders, she treats the chutes as ladders, because she's not some sissy who can't climb up a plastic slide.
5. When Patratelu' deletes files from her computer, she doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. She sends them to hell.
6. Superman owns a pair of Patratelu's pajamas.
7. Patratelu' can delete the Recycling Bin.
8. Patratelu' sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
9. Patratelu' has the heart of a child. She keeps it in a small box.
10. Patratelu' can speak braille.
11. Patratelu' can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
12. Patratelu' once stated that she "doesn't wail on sissy boys." This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Patratelu' was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
13. Patratelu' and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
14. Patratelu' doesn't read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants.
15. Giraffes were created when Patratelu' uppercutted a horse.
16. Patratelu' was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
17. Patratelu' can slam revolving doors.
18. The word "gay" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "He who has not yet been introduced to Patratelu'."
19. When Patratelu' gives you the finger, she's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
20. On her birthday, Patratelu' randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
21. Patratelu' died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell her.
22. Patratelu' once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
23. Patratelu' sleeps with a night light. Not because Patratelu' is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Patratelu'.
24. Patratelu' is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
25. Patratelu' counted to infinity - twice.
26. Patratelu' does not sleep. She waits.
27. Patratelu' beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.
28. The last man who made eye contact with Patratelu' was Ray Charles.
29. Patratelu's dog is trained to pick up her own poop because Patratelu' will not take crap from anyone.
30. Patratelu' always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
31. If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Patratelu' laughing at you.
32. Patratelu' was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
33. Patratelu' can kill two stones with one bird.
34. If Patratelu' wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.
35. Patratelu' can watch a season of "24" in just three hours.
36. Patratelu' owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped her win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite her holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
37. Circles exist because Patratelu' beat the crap out of some squares.
38. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Patratelu's house one Christmas.
39. Patratelu' destroyed the periodic table, saying Patratelu' only recognizes the element of surprise.
40. Patratelu' became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
41. When Patratelu' gets pulled over she lets the cop off with a warning.
42. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Patratelu' can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck she wants.
43. Patratelu's blood type is WD-40.
44. Only once has Patratelu' ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.
45. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Patratelu' punched herself in the face.
46. Patratelu's family wraps her holiday presents in lead, so she can't see what's in them.
47. Getting murdered by Patratelu' counts as a natural cause of death.
48. On a high school math test, Patratelu' put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Patratelu' solves all her problems with Violence.
49. Patratelu' had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere Patratelu' went the lamb was sure to go. So she killed it.
50. The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Patratelu' was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
51. Patratelu' is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
52. Patratelu' puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
53. Patratelu' wears a cup not to protect herself, but to protect the players on the other team.
54. Patratelu' once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
55. Onions do not make Patratelu' cry. Patratelu' makes onions crap themselves.
56. If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Patratelu' wins.
57. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals Patratelu' has found too chewy to eat.
58. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Patratelu'.
59. Patratelu's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Patratelu'.
60. Once a cobra bit Patratelu's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
61. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Patratelu' allows to live.
62. Patratelu' can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
63. Patratelu' once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give her a speeding ticket, however Patratelu' still pleads her innocence to this day, stating that she was simply out for a morning jog.
64. Patratelu' is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
65. Patratelu' used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind her.
66. Patratelu' doesn't play "hide-and-seek." She plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
67. Patratelu' can make a paraplegic run for her life.
68. Patratelu' doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Patratelu'.
69. Crop circles are Patratelu's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
70. Patratelu' was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
71. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Patratelu' says its beef, then it's beef.
72. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Patratelu' and forgot to pay her back.
73. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Patratelu', only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.
74. When Patratelu' goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
75. Patratelu' does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Patratelu' goes killing.
76. Patratelu' invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
77. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Patratelu' could use to kill you, including the room itself.
78. Patratelu' is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
79. Patratelu' can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
80. Patratelu' doesn't have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
81. Patratelu' played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
82. Weeping Willows are a result of Patratelu' yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
83. The only time Patratelu' was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.
84. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Patratelu' ate Kobayashi.
85. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Patratelu's basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
86. When Patratelu' plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
87. When Patratelu' enters a room, she doesn't turn the lights on, she turns the dark off.
88. Patratelu' knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).
89. Patratelu' irons her shirts while she's wearing them.
90. Patratelu' can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
91. Patratelu' is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
92. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Patratelu' has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
93. Patratelu' was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
94. Patratelu' can tie her shoes with her feet.
95. You are what you eat. That is why Patratelu's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
96. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Patratelu' and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
97. Patratelu' is the only one who can "try this at home."
98. If at first you don't succeed, you must not be Patratelu'.
99. Patratelu' does not know where you live, but she knows where you will die.
100. Patratelu' has beat the crap out of so many people over her brilliant life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.