Coldplay - Careful where you stand

I feel safe, I feel warm when you're here
Then I do no wrong
I am cured, when I'm by your side
I'm alright, alright

I am safe, when I am with you
And I feel warm, if you want me to
I am cured, when I'm by your side
I'm alright

Careful where you stand, My love
Careful where you lay your head
It's true we're always looking out for one another

I feel safe, when I am with you
I feel warm, when you want me too
I am cured when you are around
I'm alright

So I'd like a quiet time please
Yeah, I'd like a quiet time

events

Azi am vazut un film tare prost - Blade of glory. Nu stiu de ce nu ne-am uitat pe afis inainte. Am ras, totusi.
Ma tot gandesc la concertul Muse de pe 7 (parca) octombrie, de care am aflat zilele astea. As merge. Acum ma uit la videoclipuri pe www.muse.mu. Numai ca e sambata, si s-ar putea sa nu pot merge, altfel I'll be there. Nu stiu de ce nu m-am dus la Gotan Project, cand au fost, ma gandeam mai devreme. Si Alex zice ca vin si Pink Martini, that would be a must for us. Toata lumea zice ca au fost multe concerte anul asta in Bucuresti. De calitate. Se mira toti.
Tocmai am vorbit la telefon, am baut 5 cani de bere de sete si cred ca ma opresc din scris. E prea cald. Abia astept sa vina toamna.
Such a lame post, cher journal. :)

so afterall
what makes your heart sing?

in the dark

The night whose sable breast relieves the stark,
White stars is no less lovely being dark,
And there are buds that cannot bloom at all
In light, but crumple, piteous, and fall;
So in the dark we hide the heart that bleeds,
And wait, and tend our agonizing seeds.

Aveam 2 versuri din poezia asta intr-o agenda de cand eram la liceu, hm..de acum 9-10 ani, si mi-am adus aminte de ea azi.. din "From the Dark Tower", de Countee Cullen (cred ca se referea la miscarea de eliberare a negrilor, sau asa ceva :)

time

..i'm so fucked up now.. i wonder how much it will take..

i can feel it coming

*by Thomas Zahumenski

Jean Gabin - Maintenant je sais

Paroles: Jean-Loue Dabadie 1974

Quand j'étais gosse, haut comme trois pommes,
J'parlais bien fort pour être un homme
J'disais, JE SAIS, JE SAIS, JE SAIS, JE SAIS..
C'était l'début, c'était l'printemps
Mais quand j'ai eu mes 18 ans
J'ai dit, JE SAIS, ça y est, cette fois JE SAIS !
Et aujourd'hui, les jours où je m'retourne
J'regarde la terre où j'ai quand même fait les 100 pas
Et je n'sais toujours pas comment elle tourne !
Vers 25 ans, j'savais tout : l'amour, les roses, la vie, les sous
Tiens oui l'amour ! J'en avais fait tout le tour !
Et heureusement, comme les copains, j'avais pas mangé tout mon pain :
Au milieu de ma vie, j'ai encore appris.
C'que j'ai appris, ça tient en trois, quatre mots :
"Le jour où quelqu'un vous aime, il fait très beau,
j'peux pas mieux dire, il fait très beau
C'est encore ce qui m'étonne dans la vie,
Moi qui suis à l'automne de ma vie
On oublie tant de soirs de tristesse
Mais jamais un matin de tendresse..
Toute ma jeunesse, j'ai voulu dire JE SAIS
Seulement, plus je cherchais, et puis moins j' savais
Il y a 60 coups qui ont sonné à l'horloge
Je suis encore à ma fenêtre, je regarde, et j'm'interroge ?
Maintenant JE SAIS, JE SAIS QU'ON NE SAIT JAMAIS !
La vie, l'amour, l'argent, les amis et les roses
On ne sait jamais le bruit ni la couleur des choses
C'est tout c'que j'sais ! Mais ça, j'le SAIS... !

"drink with your five senses"

Asta scria pe niste umbrelute cu reclama la Granini, in fata la City Grill. In gand mi-am spus - no thanks, prefer sa imi folosesc simturile intr-un mod mai placut decat band Granini.
Aseara am ajuns in Tineretului exact cand se termina spectacolul. "Salto Vitale", al trupei Tuig din Olanda.. cu apa, aer si foc, toate la un loc. Mi-a parut tare tare rau ca nu am ajuns la timp, dar am plecat tarziu de la tara si in 3 locuri se circula pe un singur sens, cu semafor. Partea buna e ca am invatat sa fac poze noaptea.
Si mi-e dor de concerte, si parca nici festivalul berii n-a fost anul asta. Sau sa nu fi stiut de el?

In seara asta am sosit acasa totally wet and cold, am facut un dus fierbinte si am spalat si hainele de pe mine, ma plouase rau de tot. In masina mi-au curs cateva picaturi de apa din par direct pe carte - am ajuns la pagina 140, btw.
Inca simt aroma de cirese cand respir, din narghileaua de mai devreme din barul ala in care am fost pentru prima data. Si am stat pe perne si am povestit cu Alex si Del si Razvan. Si in drum spre casa am aflat ca maine vine Frederic si sta la mine pana pe 10. Si apoi, din weekend, sunt singura acasa 2 saptamani, poate 3.
Si inca simt miros de narghilea de cirese.. mm.. :)
Si cam atat. Good night, cher journal.. Si o poza de la "Asas do destino".

"one day you'll love somebody so much that you'll go to the end of the world for her" - i said and i really wish it will happen to you one day..
and today you said "but i'm not that person for you.."
and i was sad that you thought of it but in the same time i was happy that you said it. (maybe first of all i should ask - do you want to be that person for me?, but maybe you do since you asked, and maybe that's what made me happy in the first place..)
and it is still in my mind, that "statement" of yours.. i want to write about it..
if love can be measured by where anyone would go for you... if it would only be that easy... then it should be simple enough.
if big words can show a person's heart then so be it. i can just be silent, that's all it takes, and you'll think... that it's all gone?
tomorrow i'll only be able to say 2 words to you, being busy again and again... and i can't explain all these things that run through my head...
how do you know what you are for me? how would you know? what should i do? i always thought that it's not good for you to know what i feel.. that it constraints you, that it limits your choices, that it gives you a responsibility to be careful with my feelings, with me. that it takes some of your freedom away.
maybe if i'd really really love you i'd write some other things. i'd make you smile. somehow i wish even this mail would make you smile.
i am here. i will be here. you were the most amazing thing that happened to me... i owe this to my blog. [omg:))]
i can give you time, and i can give you patience, and i can give you my time, and a part of my life, and i can give you love. this is what i can give you. then, what are you for me? whom do i write such things? who makes me laugh and cry and smile and who makes my heart........ nevermind.
i give you a place in my heart and in my life, in all my life. i want to give you all these. it's so good i know you exist...
and if you expect me to behave in some particular way about going to the end of the world, you should know i've thought of it all... all... and please tell me about this again. and let's talk about it, i want us to talk about it.
and if that's not enough and if you think that's gonna end anyway because i don't love you "to go to the end of the world for you" i give you more, the most - i give you the freedom to leave. anytime. i'd even make you smile while leaving without even knowing what's inside of me.
and if that's not what you want, leaving, then i can let it be only friendship, knowing that i'll never have you again, that i'll never kiss you or make love to you ever again. and i wouldn't go if you want me to stay and i'll give you a hand and a shoulder to lean on if that's what you need and nothing more.
and i want you to be ok and i want to help and make it better, and i can give you a mirror to look in, and questions to answer, otherwise never answered (maybe), and confidence and balance.
and you gave me all these feelings that i can't even say in words, and all these wishes to be better than i am, and to do something with my life, and all these memories. and (you said this too one day) you gave me a reason to wake up in the morning for, would you know that? and you gave me this certainty that i can love again when i was so sure i can't be repaired, and the certainty that special people do exist, though now i can't think there's anyone as you are to me, for me.
this is what you are to me. all of this and this is only what i could express now.
and tell me distance is measured in kilometers, not in thoughts and heartbeats and smiles and longing and wishes and dreams and pillows i hug and memories in a blink of an eye. tell me. tell me about distance, about being far and being close.
tell me about going to the end of the world.
and more, and more than this... there's more... there's this feeling... this feeling that i am so happy to have met you, even if you'd be with somebody else. and there's this wish.. this wish that you'll be ok and that you'll let me know when you're not and that you'll run into my arms any hour, without hesitation, if you feel like.
and i need to thank you. thank you for making me feel this life worths living, a bit. thank you for walking a part of the road with me. thank you for letting me share all these with you and for giving me so much.
this is about my journey.
this is about going to the end of the world, it's about my going to the end of the world. it's what i can be for you and what i want to be for you and what i feel i need to be for you.
and you're so so special and i think i need you.. but i won't call you or keep you. at least i'll try.
now where is it?
where's the end of the world, can you tell?

*by me

thoughts

O mie de lucruri as scrie.. Si tot timpul asta in care am tacut.. in fiecare zi ma intrebam de ce nu pot scrie. Si am fost la Balcic, si as vrea sa scriu despre asta, si a fost si ziua mea si am primit cele mai frumoase cadouri ever. And my friends are very nice anyway. :P
Aveam magneti danonino pe frigider. Acum am altii, cu cuvinte, si de vreo 2 luni am facut si o strofa din ei. In seara asta am scris mai mult, o poezie intreaga. Sau nu poezie, nu stiu ce e. Am putut. E bine ca pot. E ceva trist totusi, asa a iesit ce am scris. Asa iese intotdeauna, trist. Sau doar cu sens. Ca si cum numai ce e trist are sens.
Intr-una din serile astea eram intr-un hotel oarecare si ma uitam in oglinda. Si parca ma vedeam pentru prima data. Si ma intrebam ce fac, asa, cu mine. Si mi-am pus capul in maini si apoi m-am uitat iar in oglinda. Si iar m-am intrebat ce o sa fac, asa in general. Parca ma uitam la altcineva, si m-am vazut altfel, ca si cum m-ar vedea cineva de pe strada. Cea mai buna parte a fost ca mi s-a parut ca am niste ochi foarte albastri.. sau nu stiu.. :)) Probabil ca se vedeau asa pentru ca mi-era somn si imi venea sa plang, si neonul ala...
Go away Narcis. :)
A, trebuie sa scriu si de piesele din Tineretului. De "Asas do destino" si de "Narcisse guette". Poate pun si cate o poza.
Si apoi am zis ca vreau acasa. Numai ca nu stiam unde e acasa.

Snt bine. Foarte bine. Mi se intampla lucruri minunate, la serviciu e bine, si fac o gramada de lucruri. Daca as avea mai mult timp doar..
E o parte din mine care s-ar putea sa nu plece niciodata, tristetea asta. A fost intotdeauna. Mi-ar fi rau fara ea, ne-am obisnuit de acum. E uimitor ce simt. Simt ca viata e ca o lada de gunoi, dar e frumoasa. E prima data cand zic asta. E frumoasa. Ce interesant. Am inceput sa am vise si sa ma bucur de ce se intampla? Chiar simt ca e frumoasa... Ce lame sa imi pun astfel de intrebari totusi. Acum. Like a kid.
O sa mai scriu. A inceput "Fix you" acum. I wonder how the hell I could fix myself. :)

am gasiiit... (iar)

imi tot rasuna in minte cantecul asta, si nu il gaseam nicaieri. am gasit din intamplare toata poezia - Te-ai dus, de Silvia Kaputikian.

Te-ai dus...dar sufletul meu stie,
nu-i despartire pentru noi,
stiu umbra mea o sa se-atie,
pe orice drum vom fi noi doi.
(...)
In clipa ta patrund si-n casa
si vijelie voi sufla,
voi rascoli hartii pe masa
si poate intreaga viata ta
si astfel n-ai... n-ai sa poti uita...

Hm, arata rau citita asa, da' melodia e asa frumoasa.. acuma, dac-as avea si acordurile..

Bwt, salut, cher journal.. o sa revin..