Shopping

This is my/our new friend for the office. A water plant I bought from IKEA today along with my new desk for the laptop, a small one that I can "nail" on the wall in my room, just like that.

Reactions

This image made me laugh and I had this "I have to blog this" type of reaction. Unbelievable. :))
So this is Adolf Picachu, enjoy it.

PS - I'll slowly move to the new blog, it's on livejournal and it has this option for public posts, private posts and posts that only friends can see. Also, I couldn't explain why I write in english, maybe because I use it at work 80% of the time now, but that's recent...
And btw there's this thing on my mind now - I have to talk with my ex-boss, this evening I discovered it seems to be a "problem" with my salary on the last month... such as... it's almost half...

Cher journal,

Today I wrote a post on another blog, for the first time..

Perhaps I'll come back here too from time to time.

In seara asta e punctul maxim de vizibilitate pentru Perseide, "cad stele", adica.. Daca ar fi si intuneric in orasul asta..

black and pink

*taken in Mogosoaia, on 3rd of August

coming back here

I got on my flickr page last evening and there was a funny message there "Don't panic! But you Flickr account has expired". I renewed it and it's ok now.
Also I thought about it these days and I think it wouldn't be fair to change my blog address right now. Nobody reads it anyway.
Surprisingly, I feel ok. I feel reliefed and I feel loved. Or I feel I've been loved. :) And I like the new things I am doing at work.
There were Julianne and Julia and Felix (form Germany) here, and Ken (from Hong Kong), Ken is still here. On saturday evening we went clubbing to some big big club in Bucharest, I think there were half of the sluts of Bucharest there, but it was very nice that it was outside and people at my table were nice.
I had a good day today, first at my new job. It was nice, people are nice, there is serious work to be done there and I'm handling it well I guess.
I feel easy, not extremely, that would be unreal. I feel ok. My cousins are here and we're gonna watch a movie, last evening I saw "Horton hears a who" and I laughed a lot.
Today I got a message from Diana, it was the first time she wrote and interesting timing, we're gonna meet tomorrow for a beer I guess.
Also I had a long conversation with L, she called trying to convince me she's sane and it's just a matter of behaviour..
I don't know what to do this weekend and I also have to plan the trip to Ohrid..
Gotta go, it's getting late.
Good night cher journal.

De la Alex, un citat de Milan Kundera

"There is a secret bond between slowness and memory, between speed and forgetting. A man is walking down the street. At a certain moment, he tries to recall something, but the recollection escapes him. Automatically, he slows down.
Meanwhile, a person who wants to forget a disagreeable incident he has just lived through starts unconsciously to speed up his pace, as if he were trying to distance himself from a thing still too close to him in time.
The degree of slowness is directly proportional to the intensity of memory; the degree of speed is directly proportional to the intensity of forgetting."

What comes to mind now is 2 people that walked the same speed.. the difference of the pace, I guess this is what hurts the most. Probably, the difference between the most beautiful memories and the ugliest ones, both shared.
I'm such a kid, I still don't understand this life.

I'll soon leave, I'll stop writing here.. it's stupid. This blog used to fix me once..

un post de pe bedforlove

"Hai sa scriem despre dragoste. Povesti incredibile cu intorsaturi pe masura. Iubiri imposibile care se aduna acolo jos in stomac sa-si mestece durerea. Sa scriem despre dragoste cu furia neputintei de a mai iubi dar cu speranta la puterea "n".

Sa scriem despre strazi ude si zambete fugare, despre esarfe cu parfumul "ei" sa scriem despre mii de kilometri de cautari desarte, despre dueluri si cai albi sub ziduri moarte. Sa scriem mii de pagini doar despre un sarut, sa ii desfacem anatomia-n mii de molecule.

Sa scriem despre o privire, o singura privire ca aceea a lui Cicikov in Suflete Moarte cand pentru o clipa s-a crezut capabil de o iubire mai presus de sine. Sa scriem despre dragoste-n mizerie sau razboi despre povestea unui pian atins de mainile unei fete batrane care regreta eternul colonel.

Sa scriem despre amanti si adulter, despre o nunta ca-n povesti, sa scriem despre-un hippiot plin de mister sa ne salvam prin scris si sa chemam iubirea cu incantatii celte, sa ploua peste soare si sa ne ninga ambrozie, oriunde te invarti pe orice strada orice copil de-o schioapa sa stie o poveste dedpre iubirea dintre un el si-o ea...sa fie oriunde un fir de agatat...ca sa te poti salva, ca sa mai poti zambi sau ca sa-ti speli privirea cu lacrimi de o zi...prostii...prostii...prostii.."

de pe tudorchirila.blogspot.com

"In lumile fiecareia dintre lumi, nu poti cunoaste ceva, orice, cu adevarat, decat in masura in care te poti recunoaste. Nu pot darui decat in masura in care poti primi un dar si nu poti ajuta cu adevarat decat in masura in care poti iubi intr-adevar cu adevarat." - Florin CHILIAN

thoughts and happenings

So this is something I've tried not to write here. About who I am. So I worked as a recruiter, and in the last year I had more than 3000 interviews. 3000 stories, 3000 pieces of very different lives. I've seen at least 4 people born in the same day as me and as all my friends and as all my relatives. I've seen very intelligent people, I've seen lots of "less" intelligent people (some of them I didn't know they exist), I've seen mental illness - way too many cases, I've seen energy and laziness and sense of humour and frustration and lots of emotions and characteristics. I've read hundreds of thousands of CVs, I've answered and talked to tens of thousands of unknown people. I've listened to thousands of voices. I've tried to find the best parts of people that were clearly not fit for some jobs, I tried to be as objective as possible, I tried to find solutions where no solution was there at the moment. I think I did my best. I rarely use the word "evaluate", I don't like evaluating people as a job. It's the same every day, it makes you run away from people or at least put a wall in between, it gets you tired.

It's common to people not to draw conclusions, not to think they are doing things that worth telling, just to get used to situations and live them. I probably wouldn't write these lines too if I hadn't decided to change my job on another area of expertise. So there are three days left here and in a way i feel relieved. In many ways, actually. I'm sorry for what I leave behind, but I'm glad in many other ways. In this case, these days I was soo concerned about what I'm leaving behind that I couldn't enjoy what's coming. And I think I did a great job and if I look behind, even if I'm not necessarily searching for learning and experience, I heard a lot, I learned a lot, I accomplished a lot.

So right about now Felix and Julia came, they are staying at my place for a few days. And I went down to get them, they came by taxi and it was a "fake" taxi, and the taxi driver was arguing with them. Actually they paid 20 lei and the taxi driver was saying he told them from the train station that it was 20 lei each, that means 60. They were 3. Then he became a little violent, let's say invading our space, and he was telling me to tell them to give more money. I was telling him that it's illegal what he's doing and at some point when he was more and more violent I told him I might write down his number of the car, to which he answered "It doesn't matter, I have another one in the front". (??)
Anyway, I was calm and sleepy and wearing my cow pijamas and we turned our back and slowly walked away. :))

And tomorrow I'm having a hard day at work, the first of the last 3, and I should get some sleep.

:))

"Well... I think the more pessimistic I feel about life, the more optimistic the films should be. This is the way I think about it. Life is too sad to bear and there is no hope for anyone. So now, let us drink to happy endings."
Aki Kaurismaki

i'm bleeding. this is how i am, since you asked.

belongings

They met at a rummage sale: sad, discarded, useless objects that needed to become shiny and special through novelty. Grapes had known Socks vaguely, but they had never been close, and finding Socks under these strained circumstances evoked in Grapes a certain tenderness that had thus far been dormant. Grapes was in the throes of that first recovery from heartbreak, not the heartbreak of losing a lover, but that of losing faith in yourself, the sudden knowledge that maybe the world isn't in love with you, or against you, just indifferent. It had left Grapes with a new kindness towards weakness in itself and others.
Before Grapes might have been embarrassed to be seen at a rummage sale, out there with the dusty plastic cuckoo clock whose wood grain was obviously fake and the Budweiser mirror. At the very least, it would have been positive that anyone it met there would have to be a bigger loser than itself. But now it saw the beauty in humility, in lives led despite disappointment and loss.
Grapes started a conversation with Socks, and Socks was pleased to be noticed. Just out of a long relationship, Socks was ready for anyone or anything that made it feel more itself, not just part of a pair, special in its own right. Socks was tired of being in a couple, someone's second half, apairofsocks, one word, no individual identity. At the same time, Socks was scared of facing the world alone, after all that time safe inside the shared protection of coupledom. Socks had to restrain itself from using the word "we" in its answers to Grapes' questions about what Socks had been up to, and its stories reflected the careful deletion of its ex. "Well, I've been traveling, a lot, you know, backpacking around Europe," (when it had been the two of them, apairofsocks, in that backpack). "In Scotland I got to the train station five minutes after the train left and everything was closed in this tiny little town and I had to spend the night in the station,"(implying it was only Socks, leaving out the sex in the bathroom). Grapes knew about the breakup, everyone knew about the breakup, and Grapes found Socks' dissimulation touchingly awkward, as well as a clear sign that Socks was interested. "Wow, I'd love to hear more stories of your adventures," Grapes said.
"Well, let's get out of here," Socks answered, and Grapes knew Socks wanted them to go home together. Grapes was sick of itself, of its own thoughts and fears and Socks' attention provided a welcome distraction.
Rebound, rebound, rebound.
That night Socks rediscovered its body as something that belonged to itself. The moves Socks had perfected with its ex were useless with Grapes. When Socks moved furiously against Grapes, looking to create that electricity that would glue their bodies together, Grapes touched Socks gently and said, "Slow down," offering itself up to be consumed. So Socks did, and learned new moves, and fell asleep warm and happy.
Grapes and Socks were the most communicative of lovers, the most understanding. Socks told Grapes that it wasn't ready for anything big, and Grapes listened, but nonetheless, neither of them was surprised when Grapes started to spend every night at Socks' place. Their relationship was defined by its lack of craziness: they did their best to be fair, and kind, and open with one another. For the first time in its life, Grapes was coming to understand the meaning of the word serenity, and Socks was a big part of this. Grapes stopped worrying all the time, and settled into the serious business of living and working and loving.

more and more..

..hollow, i feel lately. yes, i guess that's the word. hollow. from time to time, but more and more..
get used to it, i say to myself. it will pass. eventually. and if not, be like that. it's fine. it's fine. leave it. you should have done it earlier, leave it.. so what?

out of town

There are over 30 degrees here all the time and I'm thinking. I'd prefer it some other way.. like.. hot summer for 2 weeks, winter (with snow) for 2 weeks, and the other "half" of the year - autumn and spring. A loong spring, when you can observe different trees blossom slowly, you can see the flowers and the leaves growing.. not just like it happened this year. All of a sudden all the trees were full and green and I hated it, everything looked strange. :)
And a long coloured autumn, with golden and red leaves falling reaaally slowly.

We're going to the mountains next weekend, but I know now.. I want to go to the seaside. I was listening to REM - Nightswimming, when I suddenly realised it.. I wanna go to the seaside..

vai si as avea o gramada de lucruri de spus, dar atata m-am chinuit in ultimul timp (de fapt, aproape de cand am inceput sa scriu) sa nu zic nimic despre mine si despre ce fac, despre viata mea de zi cu zi, concret.. of.. :)

Draga jurnalule...

Cum sa fac? nu am mai scris demult. E adevarat ca nu am timp, abia acum am terminat cu proiectele pentru azi, dar mai e si altceva. Mi se pare din ce in ce mai aiurea sa scriu pe blog. Mi se pare ca nu vreau sa ma citeasca oameni cunoscuti, fara sa vreau eu. Mi se pare aiurea sa vorbesc despre ce simt intr-o lume informationala si informationalizata si informatizata. Pare lame si emo :)))))

Si e si timpul. Azi noapte am stat pana la 2 de povesti cu Alex, mi-a fost greu sa ma trezesc, la serviciu o gramada de treaba si 2 proiecte noi, apoi la dentist, chiar, uitasem (am o masea noua), si apoi cu Bianca la Mac sa lucram pe ppt-ul pe TST, apoi proiectul pe Leonardo, de acasa. Si niste peste afumat cu pilaf. Si muzica, chiar, sa pun ceva muzica.. "do you think you can tell"..

Altfel, am citit aseara niste povesti frumoase, pe sleeptrip.com/belongings, o sa pun si aici din ele, cred. A fost frumos, parca fiecare iti aduce aminte de ceva ce s-a intamplat inca, sau ceva ce se intampla, sau ceva ce se va intampla. Si e interesanta teoria ca la un moment dat in viata sunt 2 chestii care simti ca s-ar putea intampla in viitor, si sunt sanse egale pentru ambele sa se intample. Exemplul de acolo e "I will never find someone to be with" sau "I will marry and have children." Si exista un moment (mai "in tinerete" cred) cand le simti pe amandoua. Asta e o bucatica de gand, nici nu stiu cine a scris toate alea, si apoi sunt vreo 6 povesti.
Sunt de pe stumbleupon, am dat de ele din intamplare.. stumbleupon devine addictive chiar si pentru mine.

Noapte buna, draga jurnalule.

I've

surviving time

Draga jurnalule,
Tocmai ai facut... cati oare? 3? ani.
Multumesc, Alex. Ca m-ai ajutat sa descopar ceva care acum pare exprimarea tuturor gandurilor mele copilaresti. Cele care puteau fi exprimate. Si mai mult...

« I've often imagined gazes
surviving the act of seeing
as if they were poles,
measured distances, lances
in battle.

Then I think of a room
just abandoned
where similar traces remain
for a time, suspended and intersecting
in the balance of their design
intact and overlapping, like
pick-up-sticks. »

© Translation: 1991, Valerio Magrelli From: Nearsights (Translated by Anthony Molino)
all from here

How long do good things last?...

the office assistant